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Self Limiting Beliefs
Recently, I paid a visit to a dear friend at a modern private hospital.
Soothing lounge music filled the air.
What astonished me was that the sound was emanating from a “grand self-playing piano” at the center of the lobby. Enclosed by barricade tape, it was serenading an acoustic rendition of Billy Joel's "Honesty."
I didn’t take a photo of the scene but it looks something like this:
The verdict seems clear.
Music heals.
Doctors use it to help patients get better.
An article in the Harvard Medical School expands on the effects of music on many aspects of health, ranging from memory and mood to cardiovascular function and athletic performance.
But here’s a thought.
If music heals, shouldn’t musicians be able to heal themselves?
I can’t help thinking of the so many throughout popular music history, who could have benefited from such help.
On the other hand, Beethoven composed some of his greatest works while battling deafness, while Robert Schumann, who suffered from mental illness throughout his life, created some of the most sublime romantic music even in his worst health crisis.
How do some people manage to overcome these predicaments while others seem unable to do so?
Self Limiting Beliefs
Musicians or not, I think we can all agree that our beliefs often limit us.
How often have we heard this dialogue, either from ourselves or others?
"I'm not good enough."
"I'm too old or too young."
"I don't have enough time."
"I'm not smart enough."
"I don't have enough experience."
"I'll never be successful."
"I don't have enough money."
"I'm too old, too young, too poor, too fat, or too skinny."
"I'm not popular enough."
"Others are in my way."
"I can't start; I'm not ready."
"Rich people hold all the good cards."
"My problems aren't so bad."
Much of it is related to the mind.
Numerous writers, self-help practitioners, and motivational speakers have emphasized the strength of the mind, like this one:
Good Intentions vs Counter Intentions
Mind games.
This is where the power struggle happens.
Good intentions are precisely that - good in their intent.
But, Steve Levinson & Chris Cooper in their book “The Power To Get Things Done” say that mere good intentions are not enough to achieve whatever our desired outcomes or goals.
Because counter-intentions are working at the same time.
Counter-intentions are those limiting beliefs that veto good intentions, such as wanting to attract money while subconsciously believing money is bad.
Or, the fact I want to make time for self-care, but I feel guilty and doubt it will make a difference anyway.
Self-limiting beliefs hinder personal growth, success, and happiness.
I know from personal experience that overcoming these beliefs is crucial for achieving personal fulfillment and success in life.
How To Overcome Self-Limiting Beliefs
No escape from Alcatraz here.
Like all other positive changes, overcoming these self-limiting beliefs demands effort on our part.
The first step is to become aware.
Acknowledge that you have self-limiting beliefs.
Pause those negative thoughts/emotions. If possible, note them down for evaluation.
Pinpoint the origin. Often they are rooted in past experiences, the environment, the education process, conditioning at home and elsewhere, etc.
Question the validity of this belief. Be open to the possibility that it may not be true.
Reframe the belief. Begin to see the situation in a new light.
For example, to reframe a belief about managing money:
To become a better saver, sign up for a savings challenge.
Or, if you want to become a better writer, start a blog.
Put it into practice.
Stepping out of your comfort zone is the first step to begin changing those self-limiting beliefs.
Final Thoughts
Our brains are hardwired to take the easy way out.
That’s why we prefer shortcuts.
We want to achieve all our goals yesterday if possible.
But over the long run, life does not play out like that. Most of us will know that too.
Sure there will always be those who buck the trend. They seem to succeed in anything they do if they put their mind to it. They have tremendous determination and an unstoppable drive to succeed.
These are what Levinson and Cooper call “Outliers”. They are those rare sorts who are wired differently than the rest of us. They may have been born with different wiring or they may have had experiences that rewired them.
But the most likelihood is that it’s not going to be us. At least definitely not me.
So what is the alternative for the normal ones?
We need to rewire our brains.
We need to start working on ourselves.
We need to get down on it.
There is no other way.
There is no one else.
It’s you and your mind.
Inspiration will get you started.
A deliberate manual process is what will ensure you achieve your desired goal.
Welcome Challenges - see tough situations as chances to learn and grow.
Listen to Feedback - be open to advice from others for self-improvement.
Imagine Success - picture yourself overcoming obstacles and reaching goals.
Be Strong - practice self-care, surround yourself with supportive people, and learn from setbacks to build resilience.
By becoming more aware, challenging old beliefs, and adopting a mindset of growth and resilience, we tap into our hidden potential and become who we are really supposed to be.
Cheers!
Till next time,
Jude
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