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- Self Deception
“The human brain is a complex organ with the wonderful power of enabling man to find reasons for continuing to believe whatever it is that he wants to believe.”
Voltaire has hit on a sore point right on its head.
The latest escalation of conflict between Israel and Hamas is a case in point.
There is plenty of justification from all sides of the divide.
Equally though, there is an utter lack of political will to achieve lasting peace from those same sides as well.
The media laps it up.
Innocent civilians suffer.
Polarization takes place, people take sides - willingly, unwillingly, and/or unwittingly - I thought Fareed Zakaria’s conscientious interview sums it up accurately.
Take another situation - a friend attending a prestigious university course expressed frustration because his personal opinions, shared within a small group, made the others, including the lead facilitator uncomfortable.
A few days ago, someone showed me a YouTube video of two religious spokesmen, one Islamic and the other a Christian, going hammer and tongs at each other, each claiming he was right - with both declaring theirs as a “religion of peace”.
Out of this quagmire, one thought emerged - we tend to hold onto our beliefs, even if those beliefs are contradicted by facts or reason.
Self-deception is the act of deceiving oneself into believing things that may not be true or rational.
A few questions started running through my head:
What is the true cost of self-deception?
Why would anyone in their right mind would want to do it?
Am I not guilty of that too?
The psychiatrist, neurologist, and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl returned to his native Vienna after being liberated from the Nazi concentration camps.
He recalled his fellow Austrians perplexed him by saying they did not know a thing about the horrors of the camps that he had barely survived.
To Frankl, this alibi seemed flimsy.
He felt these people had chosen not to know.
Self-deception can hinder our ability to accept reality and truth because its main purpose is to safeguard ourselves or maintain a sense of security, even a false one.
I realize I too am guilty of this - when I play safe, do not ask questions, and pretend that everything is good when the facts and evidence show otherwise.
How Do I Know If I Am Deceiving Myself?
There is substantial research about recognizing self-deception and its signs, including the Cognitive Dissonance Theory developed by Leon Festinger in 1957, and the Self-Perception Theory by Daryl Bem among others.
They explain irrational decisions, inconsistencies between beliefs and actions, and resistance to change in the face of contradictory evidence.
Closer down to earth, I’ve watched "The Truman Show," countless times.
It’s a masterpiece storytelling of Truman Burbank, who unwittingly lives his entire life within a massive, elaborately crafted set designed to resemble a quaint suburban town.
Little does Truman know that his entire existence is televised to the world, and everyone he interacts with is an actor playing a role in his life.
His whole life was a reality show.
Change happens when he begins noticing subtle and not-so-subtle irrational details in his life and starts to question his reality.
The first step toward personal growth thus is confronting our self-deceptions.
Authenticity is the antidote to self-deception.
Authenticity encourages us to embrace our true selves.
“This is the day of the expanding man
That shape is my shade
There where I used to stand
It seems like only yesterday
I gazed through the glass
At ramblers, wild gamblers
That's all in the past”
The opening words of Steely Dan’s “Deacon Blues” speak of "The day of the expanding man" - a phrase that implies someone is growing, evolving, or becoming a better version of themselves.
But if you read the between the lines and the lyrics that follow, it’s to all intents and purposes the exact opposite. Smart writing.
In one interview, Walter Becker, one half of the band, mentions that "It's not so much about a guy who achieves his dream, but about a broken dream of a broken man living a broken life."
Becker summarises point blank the reply to my initial question “What is the cost of self-deception?” - A Broken Life.
How Do I Get Out Of The Box?
Just opt-out. 😃
I have countless email subscriptions. Maybe you have too.
I admit I have learned a ton from them. But there comes a time, every quarter or so I have this habit of clearing out my inboxes.
When the information I am receiving is no longer necessary, useful, or relevant, I go down to the bottom of the list and check the “opt-out” box.
That’s what Truman did and found his new freedom.
That’s also what the protagonist in Deacon Blues couldn’t or wouldn’t do.
Slow Down.
Like Truman, when we slow down, we will start noticing what we see and believe, who we really are, and we will see reality as it really is.
Not some manufactured mumbo jumbo by someone else.
This calls for me-time, self-reflection, a walk in the park, by the beach, watching the world go by, meditation, spirituality, or listening to Steely Dan 😀 - and etc. You get the picture.
Make those moments last.
Dialogue
Today, it’s common to receive a “feedback or comment form” whenever we shop online.
Likewise, ask for feedback - not from every fellow at the marketplace but someone whom you trust.
That will keep you on track.
Truman did - he had this girl who encouraged him after she saw through the deception.
Read!
I’ll say this - there are things said and written in books that cannot be found elsewhere.
Books make us wonder, question, consider, grapple with, and understand ideas that otherwise we wouldn’t be able to.
There’s a mother load of information inside them, waiting.
A detour to the local library is one step to getting out of the box of self-deception.
Wrapping Up
I discovered these two books while researching for this post. Maybe you will find them useful too.
They come highly recommended.
Till next time.
Jude
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