Down The Rabbit Hole

My nephew is getting married this weekend.

The 7-year-old page boy who was part of my wedding procession all those years ago is now himself tying the knot to the woman of his dreams.

So, as the self-declared “sage” and uncle, what possible advice could I offer him and his soon-to-be spouse as they prepare to navigate the sea of life together?

That’s when this phrase “Down The Rabbit Hole” from Lewis Carrol’s Alice In Wonderland kind of fell into my head.

Truth be told, I’d read the book in its entirety decades ago.

I can only remember bits and pieces of the story today. Maybe that’s an indication that I need to revisit it soon. Not to mention how the numerous Disney movie versions and online merchandising have further deviated from the original plot.

And so here goes, with all my 23 years of joys, mistakes, and surprises my two cents worth:

Dear nephew,

The rabbit hole is the place where everything begins.

Just like Alice, who found herself tumbling "down the rabbit hole," you and your partner are setting off on a journey filled with wonder, challenges, and the occasional mad tea party. 😀 

1. Embrace the Curiosity

Just like Alice's curiosity led her to amazing places, let your curiosity be your guiding light.

Marriage is an uncharted territory.

Be curious about each other's dreams, quirks, and even those odd habits that make you both unique.

The more you explore and discover, the deeper your bond will grow.

2. Be Prepared for Tea Parties

Be prepared for your fair share of tea parties, both planned and otherwise.

There will be times when your spouse surprises you with "un-birthday" celebrations or the unexpected.

Embrace these moments of spontaneity. You will be ok.

And, if a Mad Hatter shows up at your doorstep, invite him in for a cup of tea – you never know what insights he might share. 😃 

3. The Caterpillar's Wisdom

You'll often find yourselves seeking wisdom, much like Alice consulting the Caterpillar.

Don't hesitate to seek advice from those who've walked this path before, and also learn from each other's wisdom.

In marriage, it's essential to know who you are individually and as a couple.

Keep your individual passions alive while nurturing your shared dreams.

Just as Alice grew through her encounters, your journey together will also be a process of growth and self-discovery.

4. The Queen of Hearts' Patience

The Queen of Hearts – is known for her impulsive decisions and love of croquet.

Learn from her.

Let go of minor disagreements.

Don't let trivial matters turn into the Queen's famous "Off with their heads!"

In the grand scheme of things, compromising and choosing your battles wisely will help you build a harmonious Wonderland.

5. The Cheshire Cat's Laughter

This is crucial.

Never underestimate the power of laughter.

Just as the Cheshire Cat's grin brightened Alice's journey, humor will be your ally in marriage.

Laughter dissolves tension, breaks down walls, and turns the ordinary into something extraordinary.

So, keep those funny faces and playful antics alive – they're the keys to maintaining a joyful bond.

6. The White Rabbit's Punctuality

In Wonderland, the White Rabbit was always in a hurry.

But in married life, don't rush!

Take your time to savor moments together – the ones that make your heart race and the ones that simply warm your soul.

Slow down, like the White Rabbit did at his watch shop, and relish the present.

7. The Jabberwocky of Misunderstandings

Ah yes, the Jabberwocky – a creature with a confusing language.

Make no mistake. Misunderstandings will arise in your Wonderland, too.

But fear not! Effective communication is the answer.

Express your thoughts openly, listen attentively, and slay those misconceptions with patience and empathy.

8. Growing with the Gardeners

In Wonderland, the Gardeners planted white roses and painted them red.

Similarly, in marriage, you'll encounter moments of growth.

Sometimes, you'll need to "paint" your misunderstandings and disagreements with love and understanding to nurture a beautiful garden of togetherness.

9. Finding Your Own White Rabbit

As you journey together, find your own "White Rabbit" – a shared passion or interest that unites you both.

Whether it's exploring new places, hobbies, a common spirituality, or a certain passion, this shared pursuit will be your compass, guiding you through life's twists and turns.

10. Embracing the Impossible

Lastly, remember that in Wonderland, the impossible often becomes possible.

Embrace the notion that your marriage, with all its quirks and mysteries, has the power to create a special world of your own.

There's no one-size-fits-all manual for this adventure, but as long as you face each day with love, respect, and a touch of whimsy, you'll write your own extraordinary story.

Wrapping Up

So, my dear nephew and new spouse, as you step into this new chapter, may your journey together be as thrilling, heartwarming, and utterly captivating as Alice's adventures in Wonderland.

May you explore, learn, laugh, and love just like Alice – with open hearts and curious minds.

Recommended Reading

And finally, maybe you would like to check out a word or two from Kahlil Gibran, who opened up my mind to the many intricacies of life and the human condition - Love, marriage, children, friendship, joy, and sorrow. 

Till next time.😃 

Jude

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