Breaking Free From Fear

The following is part of a dialogue between two friends in an episode of “Firefly Lane” now showing on Netflix:

Let that sink in for a while.

Not only are we fearful of failure, we are also afraid that we may actually succeed! Logically, we cannot be afraid of both success and failure. So what gives?

Although the above quote on “Fear” is popularly attributed to FDR, its genesis was in the 16th century writings of the French author Michel de Montaigne. Not to be outdone, in 1623, Francis Bacon “imported” it to England and promptly branded the English version as his own. Originality is undetected plagiarism! Now you know!

Over the years, others have broached the same subject. Alistair MacLean in his 1961 book “Fear Is The Key”, for one, that was later made into a Hollywood action thriller in 1972. The book was better than the movie as is usually the case!

And, Kaisa Kapanen writes that fear is a feeling we usually try to avoid at all costs. When we actually go through these scary experiences, we realize that the mental images were far worse than the actual event itself.

Ultimately, we can agree there is nothing to fear except for fear itself - a somewhat senseless, irrational, and unjustifiable terror that can paralyze us.

Those of us old enough will remember Freddie Mercury bursting his lungs out:

• Have you ever felt stuck in life, not knowing what you truly want to do?

• Have you ever felt like you're just going through the motions and not living your life to the fullest?

If you're nodding your head, then you're not alone. Many people struggle to find their passion in life, but the good news is that it's never too late to start. Today let’s explore some of the obstacles that stop us from living a fulfilling life.

Overcoming common obstacles is an important step towards finding and pursuing your passions. Briefly, it can be broken down into:

1. A Fear of Failure

2. A Fear of Success

3. Social Pressure, and

4. A Lack of Time or Money

Fear of Failure - Guess what Michael Jordan, Warren Buffet & Richard Branson all have in common? As incredible as it may seem, they were branded as failures.

Michael Jordan is widely considered to be one of the greatest basketball players of all time. And yet, he was cut from his high school basketball team because his coach didn't think he was skillful enough. Warren Buffet, one of the world's richest and most successful businessmen, was rejected by Harvard University. Richard Branson, owner of the Virgin empire, is a high-school dropout.

So if you are in fear of being branded a failure, congratulations - you are in good company!

Fear of Success often stems from a fear of the unknown or a fear of change, feeling guilty about accomplishments, avoiding recognition and conflicts.

How can you get rid of this fear?

4 remedies that I have found helpful that you can apply immediately as well:

Practice Daily Gratitude - acknowledge and appreciate the good things in your life, no matter how small they may seem. It has been shown to have numerous benefits to mental and emotional health, including reducing stress and anxiety, improving relationships, and increasing happiness.

Finding Your Authenticity - begins with listening to the inner voice within you because it is uniquely yours. It’s a process of discovering and expressing your true self, values, beliefs, and passions. It's about being honest with yourself, accepting who you are, and living in alignment with your core identity. Everything begins with you.

Create A Success Library - keep track of your accomplishments that you can refer to when needed. A system of records that reminds you of past successes and accomplishments, and future strategies for achieving success in various areas of life, such as finance, health, relationships, and personal growth.

Continuous Learning - as long as you're alive, you're going to be learning new things all the time. While that may sound like a cliché, it's actually quite true. It’s like walking into a dark room. Initially you cannot see anything but after a while your eyes get adjusted and everything becomes visible. So learn, and keep learning all that is important to you!

Social Pressure - We have all been there - right from the peer pressure during schooldays to conforming work culture, voting, choice of fashion & clothing, music, recreation and etc. Social pressure can be a significant obstacle to pursuing your passions, particularly if you feel that those around you don't understand or support your goals

How can you overcome this?

Take Your Time - in giving an answer when you’re asked for a commitment - there’s no reason to rush, especially in important matters.

Consider Your Reasons - ask yourself why you are doing what you are being asked to do. If it’s uncomfortable, say a firm thanks but No.

Offer An Alternative - for example, if someone wants to get to know you better by going somewhere or doing a certain thing that is uncomfortable, suggest an alternative that’s more suitable to your liking.

Speak to someone whom you trust and can confide in. A third party can help put perspective into what’s going on without being judgmental or patronizing. In my own experiences, I’ve found that priests are a good sounding board. They’ve helped clarify, offer suggestions, and pointed me toward certain directions that eventually helped me make crucial decisions in my personal life.

Time and Money - A lack of money and time is a big stumbling block to pursuing passions. Money is not everything - but it’s a fact that everything is money. There are two things you need to learn if not already - Financial Literacy & Time Management.

When you don’t have much, begin small. Start by setting aside a small amount of time each day or week to work on your passions. Stop spending your hard earned money on unnecessary items. Cut the fat. Learn to be lean.

Look for free or low-cost resources to get started, such as online tutorials or community classes. There are tons of videos on YouTube. Use them.

Be creative and resourceful in finding ways to pursue your passions without breaking the bank. When you have saved enough money, only then opt for the paid resources. Learn to be thrifty. This is how many started off.

In a nutshell, remember:

And that’s a wrap for this week. But before I go, here’s a surprisingly inspiring clip from Jim Carrey on YouTube.

Watch, listen carefully and take notes. There are a few gems tucked in there.

Risk being seen in all of your glory!

Life doesn’t happen to you; Life happens for you!

Wow!

Till next time,

Jude