Authenticity

A couple of days ago, a friend rather stoically lamented in a FB post that “I am just who I am”.

She sounded down and a bit out of sorts. I supposed it was linked to her recent social media posts. People were vilifying her for expressing her thoughts and beliefs.

That set me reflecting.

Isn’t it true that all of us want to be just “who we are”?

But that’s where the buck stops.

In society, there is always the pressure to conform and comply, even when your heart and head are telling you otherwise.

To be sure, it is good to comply with regard to social harmony, personal safety, legal obligations, and ethical considerations among others.

But to agree just for the sake of keeping the peace or not wanting to rock the boat is a sure recipe for disaster somewhere along the line in the future.

Which is why this quote is so apt:

Cummings' quote encapsulates the essence of authenticity.

It requires tremendous effort to resist the tide of conformity and remain true to who you are.

It's a fight against fitting in, to adopt the popular views and trends when you don’t subscribe to them.

Authenticity is not an easy path, but it's a path that's worth it.

Last weekend was my nephew’s wedding.

As usual, the preparations had begun in earnest months earlier.

One of the items on the list was of course the dress code.

The only catch was that I’ve never liked wearing a tie or bow or a suit for any function, official or not.

Even for my own wedding, I’d opted for a modern Nehru jacket.

For this occasion though, my son suggested wearing bolo ties as it seemed a better fit for my personality and personal style. So the both of us decided to wing it.

Turned out it was a hit. A few recognized the ties instantly. Some were intrigued, while others wanted one for themselves. Inadvertently, we may have set a new trend! Or not - it doesn’t matter.

But what it does show - is that this is a simple example of remaining authentic to oneself while at the same time not undermining the social norms of the day.

Walking The Tightrope

Stevie Ray Vaughan portrays a vivid imagination in these lyrics:

Staying true to who you are while considering different opinions is a tricky challenge.

It's like trying to balance on a tightrope, needing both confidence and humility.

Being genuine means embracing your own thoughts, beliefs, and values. But because we're social creatures, we hear lots of different viewpoints.

This is where things can get tough – finding the middle ground between staying true to yourself and being open to what others think.

Being real doesn't mean being stubborn.

Nor does embracing your true self mean ignoring what others say.

It's about figuring out which opinions match your core values and which ones can help you learn more.

Authenticity isn't threatened by different viewpoints.

Authenticity grows stronger when we talk openly and respectfully about our differences.

But do we have the maturity to do so?

This was my friend’s predicament.

3 Ways to Be Authentic to Oneself:

1. Self-Reflection and Awareness:

• Begin by spending time in introspection.

• Explore your values, beliefs, passions, and the things that truly matter to you.

• Understanding your core identity helps you recognize when your actions and choices align with who you are.

• Regular self-reflection allows you to stay in touch with your authentic self and make decisions that resonate with your true essence.

2. Set Boundaries:

• Authenticity involves setting boundaries that protect your values and well-being.

• Learn to say no to situations or commitments that don't align with your authentic self. This doesn't mean shutting out others' opinions, but rather ensuring that your choices are in harmony with your inner compass or beliefs.

• Boundaries enable you to make space for what truly matters to you without compromising your authenticity.

3. Embrace Vulnerability:

• Authenticity thrives in vulnerability. Allow yourself to be open about your imperfections, emotions, and experiences.

• Sharing your authentic self with others fosters deeper connections and encourages them to do the same.

• Vulnerability dismantles barriers and paves the way for genuine relationships, while also reminding you that being authentic means accepting all aspects of who you are.

Recommended Viewing

"Dead Poets Society" - Robin Williams stars as English professor John Keating, who changes his students' lives forever when he challenges them to live life to the fullest and "Carpe Diem" -- seize the day!

Recommended Reading

"The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho

Paulo Coelho's allegorical novel follows a shepherd named Santiago on a quest for self-discovery and his dreams. As he faces challenges, Santiago learns to listen to his heart, stay true to his desires, and embody authenticity. The book inspires us to bravely pursue our unique paths.

Famous Last Words

Stevie Ray Vaughan’s songs are available for purchase here 😄, if you’re so inclined.

Be sure to catch Stevie in action on YouTube for a quick introduction to one of the best blues guitarists of all time.

Till next time.

Stay cool, hang loose, and be yourself!😃 

Jude

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